A (not very) sarcastic conversation in Japanese

A: Yeah right, like there’s NO sarcasm in Japanese.
B: Yes, that’s right. There’s no such thing as sarcasm in Japanese.
A: Yeah, like NOBODY is sarcastic in ALL of Japan.
B: You can say that.
A: And that’s because you know EVERYBODY in Japan, right?
B: Well no, but Japanese doesn’t really have the capability for sarcasm. There isn’t even really a word for it in Japanese.”
A: Yeah, Japanese like totally can’t express even the CONCEPT of sarcasm.
B: Well, the closest thing I can think of is saying 「はい、はい」 to be dismissive instead of being agreeable.
A: And you know EVERYTHING about Japanese.
B: Are you trying to be sarcastic?
A: I dunno. I thought I was just speaking randomly in all caps for no reason.

You can translate this back into Japanese for fun times!

But… but… Japan is such a small country!

Thought I’d share a fun link off my Google Reader. Now the site has some NSFW stuff in it but this link is safe (except for the occasional header) and shows a plethora of various dialects: 女の子が喋る方言で一番最高なのってなに?

「べっ、べつに好きやないき!勘違いせんといてや!」 by 愛知
「べっ、べつに好きとちゃうんやに!勘違いしやんといて!」 by 三重
「べっ、べつに好いとーわけじゃないっちゃけん! 勘違いせんどって!」 by 福岡
etc.
etc.
etc.

何でこんなに方言がいっぱいあるんや!?俺、まだ大阪弁すらできへんちゅうのに・・・。もうええわ。

So which is the cutest dialect? Having lived in Tokyo, I admit I have limited exposure to various dialects. But I would probably put Hiroshima near the top of the list, Tokyo at the bottom, and various Kansai dialects around the middle.

元気かいのー、どがいしょーるんの?

JapanesePod coming soon?

Head over to Japanesepod.com and you’ll see a page saying “Coming Soon”. I’m really stoked about this because I’ve been a long time fan of ChinesePod. JapanesePod, not to be confused with JapanesePod101 which was started independently, is by the same company that brought you the original ChinesePod.

I’ve always preferred ChinesePod over JapanesePod101 because the lessons and dialogues seem more focused and serious. The fact that ChinesePod also has much harder difficultly levels in the Upper-Intermediate and Advanced lessons furthers that impression. Actually, to be honest, I think JapanesePod101 itself is fine, I just never liked Peter as a host personally. What’s up with his corny greeting 「相変わらず、絶好調です」 and his bad jokes? Ugh. This is just my personal opinion so don’t read anything into it regarding the general quality of the show.

Praxis, the company behind the site is currently hiring for the show. Man, I’d love to be the Lead Teacher and you even get to work in Shanghai!! Teach Japanese and learn Chinese, that would be awesome! Alas, I don’t have a Masters in Linguistics, Education, or Japanese. o(T^T)o

Only time will tell whether JapanesePod will be better or worse than JapanesePod101. But nobody says you can’t use both and when it comes to language resources, the more the merrier I say. I can’t wait to see what kind of people will lead the show. I must try not to be too jealous. And yes, I did sign up for email updates.

φ(o_o ;)うーん How do I make Japanese emoticons?

I don’t know how other people make those cute Japanese (or Korean? …whatever) emoticons. This may sound shocking, but personally I just copy them from another site.

ガ━━Σ(゚Д゚|||)━━ン!!

This site should be a good start to get you on your way to making the most basic emoticons.

(^0^)

If you’re excited now, let me tell you about 顔文字ナビ, a site with a HUGE collection of emoticons. The only problem is that it’s all in Japanese and finding the smiley you want might be a bit difficult.

(`ヘ´)

Now now, don’t get upset. This could be a good opportunity for some simple vocab practice. Unfortunately, I can’t link directly due to the stupid frames so I’ll have to walk you through it.

Happy

Let’s start with the standard happy smileys. Go to 「よ」 and select 「喜ぶ」. You’ll get all types of happiness such as 「わーい」 (Yay) or 「キャー」 (Omg!).

(^-^) ワ~イ

O(≧∇≦)Oキャー!

You can even get smug smileys under 「自慢」 -> 「えっへん」. Aren’t you so cool?

<(`ー´)>エッヘン!

Sad

Another common one is for sadness or crying, so let’s look at 「な」 for 「泣く」. You can get the standard crying emoticons as well as some more specific ones like 「クスン」 (sniff) whether you’re crying from just a little bit of sadness or at the end of a good cry.

(/ _ ; )クスン

Sorry

Another common scenario is saying you’re sorry. You can find those smileys under 「こ」 for 「ごめん」 or 「あ」 for 「謝る」. Instead of going for the standard bowing apology, try putting your hands together for a less serious apology.

(^人^;) ゴメン

There’s obviously a lot more emoticons to play with so go to the site and look around to up your online expressiveness AND increase your vocabulary.

。。。。。。。。(ノ゜◇゜)ノ

Language is about people, people!

We can get wrapped up in language study just like anything else in life and lost sight of the bigger picture. Whether you’re taking class, listening to podcasts, watching TV programs, reading books, etc., after awhile it can get tiresome. I’ve taken breaks in my Chinese studies myself because I just had other things I’d rather do than study. And I’m sure I will again.

If you’re in a similar situation, take some time to write something in your target language, and here’s the most important part, get direct feedback from somebody. Pick one of the suggestions from below and do it today! Then come back and tell me how it went.

  1. If you know a friend who actually replies in a timely fashion, send him/her an email or message saying, “Hey, what’s up? Here’s what I’ve been up to. What about you?”
  2. Pick a place where native speakers visit and write what’s been on your mind lately. Here, you can even use my forum for Japanese, if you want.
  3. Send a message or friend request to a native speaker on Lang-8 or if you have lots of friends already, write a journal entry.
  4. Write a comment on this post. If you’re learning Japanese or English, I promise to reply.

Sometimes, we forgot that the whole point of learning a language is to communicate with people. The reason why we talk or write is because we expect somebody (maybe even just ourselves) will listen or read what we have to say. We are social creatures and I guarantee you’ll feel better and maybe even excited about learning the language when you’re actually communicating with somebody. I know I did once I started getting comments and messages in Chinese on Lang-8.

Make sure to let me know in the comments what you’ve done today to communicate with somebody and how it felt!

Seattle Career Expo 2008

Update
This job fair is now over. Did anybody attend and if so, how was it? If you missed this event, please do check 帰国GO.com periodically. They seem to have a lot of good information and I’ll definitely be checking it out if I ever wanted to work in Japan again.

Gmail gave me this link based I think on my comment emails from my post about finding a job in Japan. (Google is scary! They’re reading my mail!!)

Seattle Career Expo 2008. It’s this weekend!

2008年5月24日(土) 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM
2008年5月25日(日) 9:00 AM – 3:00 PM

Hyatt Regency Bellevue
900 Bellevue Way NE. Bellevue, WA 98004
Phone: 425-462-1234
Website: http://www.bellevue.hyatt.com

Here’s the most important part for non-Japanese people.

ビジネスレベルの日本語能力をお持ちで、日本での就職を希望される方であれば、日本国籍をお持ちでない方も参加可能です。

So all you need is business Japanese. Even if your Japanese is not that great, you might still have a chance with Microsoft. I’ve never been to this job fair but it sounds pretty good.

Things that lose “coolness” when translated

Some things in Japanese just seem to lose their cool when translated into English.
I’m sure there are examples where the reverse is true but it’s much easier for me to come up with these examples.

Fighting words
「ぶっ倒してやる!」 (Cool) -> “I’m going to beat you!” (Not cool)

Technique/Spell/Summon Names
「螺旋丸!」 (Maybe Cool) -> “Spiraling Round [Thing]!” (Definitely not cool)

語尾 (technically 終助詞)
「くるぞ!」 (Brave) -> “They’re coming!” (Scared)

Expressions and Cultural Phrases
「がんばれ!」 (Uplifting) -> “Do your best!” (Dork)

Heavily Girly Style of Speech
「嫌だもん!」 (Pouty Cute) -> “I don’t like it!” (Complainy)

Finally, basically all of Death Note in English is just awkward.

涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱

そうそう。前回の投稿では、ブログを日本語で書くって約束したから一応何かを書いてみることにしました。俺は、仕事で臨時作業依頼書だの障害報告書だの、普段何の役にも立たない文章しか書かないので、ちょっぱし苦労はすると思うけど、それはいわゆる「成長」というやつかな?とにかく、何か間違いがあったら是非教えていただきたく。

まぁ、俺にとっていい練習にもなるし、みなさんのためにもなると思って今これを書いているわけだが、肝心の問題は・・・
 
何について書けばいいのか?
 
こういう時は、たいてい自分がやったことや思ったことを書くんだが、俺の普段の生活はとんでもないぐらいつまらないということもあり・・・。

そうだな。例えば、先週末に何をやったかといえば、「涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱」というアニメを部屋一人で全部観ました。情けねえな~。

でも、アニメ自体は本当におもしろいですよ!最初は、DVDを買おうと思ったんですが、一枚で6000円・・・ L(・O・;)」オーマイガーッ
 
んなもん買うか?!
 
あ~あ、やめた、やめた。
 
幸い、Youtubeに全部載っていました。どうやら、klisa0506という物凄い親切な方が10分置きに分けてPart 1,2,3という形で14話を全てあげたみたい。ありがとうよ、klisa0506さん!Youtubeだから、画像はもちろん小さいのだが、タダだから文句はいえねーな。
 

朝比奈ミクルの冒険 Episode 00 – Part 1

つづき
朝比奈ミクルの冒険 part2
朝比奈ミクルの冒険 part3
 
テレビ番組のサイトもまたおもしろい!なぜなら、アニメの中でSOS団というクラブがサイトを作るんだが、そのサイト(もしくはそのようなサイト)が番組のオフィシャルサイトとして実際に作られているんです!うん、うん、なるほど。どうりで、サイトがしょぼいわけだ。

もし、「涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱」を観ていない方がいらっしゃったら是非観てみてください。俺みたいなお金のない方は今の内にYoutubeで観るといいですよ。(いつ消されるかわかんないから)

個人的には放送順に観ることをお勧めします。(話の順番はこのサイトの「サブタイトル」という部分から参照できます。)

んなわけで、どうでもいいことでずいぶんと自分一人で盛り上がったんですが、次回はもうちょっとまともな内容を考えてみますんで、またきてね。 ♪(#^ー゚)v

(そもそも次回があるというかなり怪しい前提だが・・・)

And then… (scroll… scroll… scroll…) …never mind

Japanese blogs are good reading practice if you can find some interesting ones.
 
Most share some unique characteristics.
 
I don’t know who wrote the rules of Japanese blogging…
 
…but you have to use the “Enter” key a lot.
 
The writing tends to be kind of aimless as well.
 
I think celebrity blogs are probably the biggest in Japan.
 
If you’re an attractive celebrity who also happens to be an オタク geek like しょこたん, you’re bound to get a huge following of fantasizing geeks.
 
It’s like the ultimate fantasy.
 
Sometimes, I wish I was a hot, geeky celebrity. Then my blog would be popular.
 
But I don’t want geeky, fantasizing fans. Yuck! \(≧≦)/
 
Oh yeah, don’t forget to use lots of cute smileys.
 
Here’s another one:
 
( ^ー゚)bグッ! All right! (Pat myself on the back!)
 
There’s one more crucial aspect to writing a Japanese blog…
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
Frickin’ make you scroll forever to see what comes next!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
It’s supposed to build suspense but it’s…
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
SO ANNOYING! \(*><)/
 
I enjoy a number of Japanese blogs like うまのホネ.
 
For instance, one of her posts is about strategies for milking herself reserves for the baby so that she can drink alcohol.
 
That’s my kind of wife!
 
Another one I enjoy is by yet another hot, (kinda) geeky celebrity: 眞鍋かをり.
 
You can tell she’s geeky from the following excerpt:

凌南戦でメガネくん(小暮)が決めたスリーポイントシュートくらい絶妙なタイミングだったんですよ。

 
That won’t make any sense unless you’ve read Slam Dunk, which I think is one of the first steps to becoming a geek.
 
Of course, I have read all 31 volumes. <(`ー´)>
 
Those are supposed to be arms tucked smugly behind my head, in case you didn’t get it.
 
This next blog is so popular, they made a drama of it and a PSP game: 鬼嫁日記.
 
13 millions hits on the counter! (゜_゜;)
 
It’s very funny but has lots of scrolling. (;´ヘ`) はぁ~
 
Tell me your favorite Japanese blogs in the comments!
 
Next time, I’ll try writing a real Japanese blog post in real Japanese!
 
またきてね!♪(#^ー゚)v

Which is harder? Japanese or Korean?

In my previous post, I compared the difficulty of Japanese and (Mandarin) Chinese by looking at several aspects of the two languages. As I suspected, this drew out a large number of responses (or at least larger than what I’m used to in any case). However, I was surprised to see how civilized and thoughtful the comments turned out to be. So, I decided to do another language comparison, this time with Japanese and Korean. Before I start, I’d like to mention what I write here is strictly my observations and may not be entirely accurate.

Pronunciation

It is often said that Japanese and Korean are very similar languages. Now this is true to some extent but you can’t forget that Japanese and Korean have completely different writing systems and more importantly, the sounds that go along with them.

With the exception of the /z/ consonant sounds (which Koreans usually can’t pronounce), the sounds in the Korean language are a superset of the sounds in Japanese. This means that in order to learn Korean, you not only have to learn most of the sounds in Japanese but also additional sounds, many whose difference I can’t even tell. This, I think, is the strongest argument for Korean being the harder language to learn. Because anytime somebody wants to try out a Korean phrase learned from a friend, I need to have it repeated about 5 or 6 six before I can tell what he is trying to say. And even then, it’s an educated guess at best.

With Japanese, though you sound like crap without the proper pitches, you can still make yourself understood with even the worst accents (most of the time).

The writing system

Now the comparison get more difficult because Koreans have invented an ingenious little writing system called hangul to cleverly handle all those different sounds in Korean.

For Japanese, you have to memorize 46 separate characters (not including the obsolete characters) for each individual sound. Since you have both hiragana and katakana, that amounts to a total of 92 characters that you have to memorize just to write 46 sounds. If you count the voiced consonants, small 「や、ゆ、よ」, etc., you only get a total of 102 sounds for learning 92 characters. That’s not a lot of mileage.

With hangul, you learn consonants and vowels separately and match them up like legos. You can combine up to a maximum of three consonants and one vowel. For example, if you learn 4 consonants and 4 vowels, you can combine each consonant to the vowel to get 4×4=16 letters. You can also add yet another consonant to each of these letters to get an additional 16×4=64 letters. You can even add yet another consonant though the possible combinations are a bit limited for the fourth consonant. If you consider the fact that hangul has a total of 19 consonants and 21 vowels, you can appreciate just how many sounds Korean has over Japanese. In fact, I don’t even know the total number of letters in hangul. Imagine what a nightmare it would be if you had to memorize a separate character for each sound!

A sample of hangul
Consonants: ㄱ(g),ㄴ(n),ㄷ(d),ㄹ(r)
Vowels:ㅏ(a), ㅓ(uh), ㅗ(o), ㅜ(u)

Possible combinations include:
가(ga),거(guh),고(go),구(gu)
나(na), 너(nuh), 노(no), 누(nu)
다(da), 더(duh), 도(do), 두(du)
라(ra), 러(ruh), 로(ro), 루(ru)
각(gag), 간(gan), 갇(gad), 갈(gar)
각(gag), 간(gan), 갇(gad), 갈(gar)
곡(gog), 곤(gohn), 곧(gohd), 골(gohr)
국(gug), 군(guhn), 굳(guhd), 굴(guhr)
낙(nag), 난(nan), 낟(nad), 날(nar)… etc.

Hangul, like the English alphabet allows you to write a lot more sounds with a smaller number of characters while still maintaining the unambiguous 1 letter = 1 sound aspect of Japanese. You may be thinking that in the end, all this means is that there are a lot more sounds and more letters to go with them. How does this make Korean easier than Japanese, which doesn’t need to deal with all these extra sounds to begin with? And my reply to that is, you don’t need hanja (kanji) in Korean.

In Japanese, due to the limited five-vowel, consonant+vowel sounds (with the only exception of 「ん」), a lot of words end up with the same pronunciation. For instance 「生」 and 「正」 are both 「せい」 in Japanese. However, the original Chinese pronunciation for 生 is “sheng” and “zheng” for 正. Similarly, in Korean 「生」 is “생” (seng) and “정” (juhng) in Korean. Japanese doesn’t even have a “uh” or “ng” sound. Let’s compare more kanji with the 「せい」 reading with the Korean version.

Kanji Japanese Korean
せい
せい
せい
せい
せい
せい
せい

As you can see, out of seven characters that have the same reading in Japanese, you get a total of five different pronunciations in Korean, three of which do not even exist in Japanese. Most importantly, Korean has just one letter and one sound for each character just like Chinese. In Japanese, you often get two or even three letters because one wasn’t enough to pronounce all the consonants and vowels. What you end up in Japanese is a bunch of repeating, long, and hardly decipherable text without kanji.

I get a headache from just looking at this
しょうがくごねんせいにしんきゅうしたさいだいのメリットは、おとなのつごうでちゅうがくせいともこうがくねんともよばれるちゅうぶらりんのよねんせいからかいほうされて、どっしりこうがくねんのざにこしをすえられることだった。

Even with spaces, it’s not much improvement
しょうがく ごねんせいに しんきゅうした さいだいの メリットは、おとなの つごうで ちゅうがくせいとも こうがくねんとも よばれる ちゅうぶらりんの よねんせいから かいほうされて、どっしり こうがくねんの ざに こしを すえられることだった。

With hangul, because you have a lot more letters, the visual cues are a lot more distinct and there are fewer homophones. However, because the visual cues are not quite as clear as Chinese characters, you do have to learn where to put spaces. I think it’s a small price to pay for not having to learn 2000-3000 Chinese characters, don’t you?

You don’t need kanji/hanja in Korean because of the increased visual cues. But you do need spaces.

외모가 뛰어난 학생들이 그렇지 않은 학생들보다 학업 성적이 뛰어난 것으로 밝혀졌다고 10일 선데이 타임스, 데일리 메일 등의 언론이 이탈리아 연구팀의 연구 결과를 인용 보도했다.
(from naver.com)

I think it’s ridiculous when Japanese teachers don’t teach their students kanji or when somebody says that you don’t need to learn it. Yeah, you don’t have to learn it if you don’t mind being illiterate. Books, signs, restaurant menus, computers, everything has kanji in it and you don’t get the furigana either. But in Korea, you really don’t need to learn Chinese characters at all. Sometimes you might see it in parantheses on signs next to the hangul and newspapers may use some very simple characters such as 大 or 現 but it’s a supplement to hangul instead of the other way around. Just compare Yahoo! Korea to Yahoo! Japan. Not a single Chinese character in Yahoo! Korea. Yahoo! Japan? Too many to count.

Bottom line: In terms of simplicity in writing and reading the language, Korean wins hands down. Well-played Sejong the Great, well-played.

Grammar

So far, it seems like Japanese and Korean are totally different. So what the heck was I talking about when I mentioned that they were similar? Well, why don’t we take a look at how to say, “I went to school at 7:00.”

Japanese: 私は7時に学校に行った。
Korean: 나는 7시에 학교에 갔어.

Can’t see the similarity? Ok, why don’t we add spaces to the Japanese, replace the Korean with hanja, and use the same style for the characters.

私は 7時に 學校に 行った。
나는 7時에 學校에 갔어.

As you can see, the sentence structure is exactly the same. Indeed, Korean and Japanese grammar has the same general ideas including particles and the main verb always being at the end of the sentence. However, that’s like saying French and English grammar are the same. Once you get into the details, you’ll find all sorts of stuff that are completely different. Let’s take a look at a few examples.

Particles

Particles in Korean are what you get if a bunch of people were to get together and say, “Hmm… Japanese particles are just too easy to understand. How do we make it harder to yet again confound those silly foreigners.” Then one of them will go, “I got it! Let’s change the particle depending on what comes before it!” Then the rest will go, “Oooh, that’s good.”

That’s basically how Korean works. The 「が」 particle in Japanese is either “가” or “이” depending on what it is attached to. The 「は」 particle is “은” or “는”, 「を」 is either “을” or “를”, and 「で」 is “로” or “으로”. Japanese students can now proceed to laugh at fellow students who chose to learn Korean instead.

Conjugations

Unfortunately, I don’t know enough about Korean conjugation rules to really accurately compare the two languages in this regard. However, I do know one big difference is that Korean does have a future tense unlike Japanese. Also, I give you this entertaining excerpt from this site.

Past tense is another easy verb tense. Here is the basic pattern.

1.Take the dictionary form, drop the 다
2.Add the ending 어 or 아, which makes it the casual form (everything but the 요 at the end)
3. Add ㅆ under the last syllable
4. Add 어요 on the end.

먹다
먹 + 어 – 먹어
먹어 + ㅆ – 먹었
먹었 + 어요 = 먹었어요.

마시다
마시 + 어 – 마셔
마셔 + ㅆ – 마셨
마셨 + 어요 = 마셨어요

마시 + 어 = 마셔? I mean 마시 + 어 = 마시어 makes sense but 마셔? I don’t think my math is good enough to understand that. Also, notice how it says, “Add the ending 어 or 아” but neglects to mention how to decide which one to add. I’m sorry but this doesn’t look easy to me at all. But then again, when you have Japanese conjugation tables that look like this, maybe I shouldn’t complain.

Counters

Yep, both languages have them. And yes, it’s totally confusing for both languages.

Conclusion

In terms of difficulty, I think Japanese and Korean are at about the same level. Some parts are harder for Korean while other parts are harder for Japanese. However, considering the larger number of sounds and the different particles in Korean, Japanese is definitely the easier language to start in. If you’re not good at distinguishing new sounds and pronunciations, you’re definitely going to have a hard time with Korean.

In particular, that fourth consonant can get really silly. For instance, the word for chicken is “닭”, made up of ㄷ(d),ㅏ(a), ㄹ(r), ㄱ(g), and it’s supposed to sound something like “darg” but I can’t even hear the /r/ sound. And “없어” is supposed to sound like “uhbs uh” but to me, it sounds exactly the same as “uhb suh” (업서). Really, it’s just ridiculous.

However, once you master all the sounds and the basic grammar in Korean, you’re in for smoother ride the rest of the way. While Japanese students will be struggling with four different types of conditionals, looking furiously in the dictionary for the readings of 「大人」, 「仲人」, 「気質」, and 「問屋」, and trying to remember if it was 「静かな」 or 「静な」, you’ll be just sailing right by enjoying the benefits of having only one letter and reading for each Chinese character. You don’t even have to learn them, if you don’t want to.